The Situation
The relationship is over, but the lease isn't. Now there's a practical, day-to-day version of the breakup layered on top of the emotional one — who sleeps where, how to split the bathroom schedule, whether to still say good morning. Every ordinary domestic moment is now happening between two people who just ended things, with no separation available to actually process it.
This situation forces emotional processing and logistical negotiation to happen at the same time, which is exhausting in a way a normal breakup isn't. The mistake most people make is trying to fully resolve the emotional side before addressing the practical side — when actually setting clear, boring, unemotional logistics first tends to make the emotional part easier to manage, not harder.
Treat the logistics like a project with a deadline, not an open-ended emotional negotiation. Who's moving out, by when, who's paying what until then — get it in writing between you if you have to. Clarity here reduces the daily friction more than any conversation about feelings will.
Give yourself permission to be civil without being close. You don't owe her the version of yourself that still checks in emotionally just because you're sharing a kitchen. Polite and distant is a completely reasonable way to get through this.
Every living situation like this has its own wrinkles — bring yours to the Council.
Tell the Council what's actually happening → Ask the Council