The Situation
The relationship ended for real reasons, and those reasons haven't gone anywhere — every custody exchange, every logistics text, is a reminder of exactly why it didn't work. But there's a kid in the middle who needs both of you functioning, which means the personal dislike has to somehow coexist with a working coordination between two people who'd rather not speak at all.
Trying to co-parent well while still emotionally engaged with how much you dislike the other person is one of the hardest versions of this — because every interaction carries two layers at once: the practical logistics, and the leftover emotional charge. The parents who manage this best tend to treat co-parenting less like a relationship and more like a business partnership with a shared, non-negotiable objective: the kid.
Reframe every interaction as strictly transactional — logistics only, no emotional content, no relitigating the past. You're not required to like her to coordinate a schedule with her. Keep the exchanges short, factual, and in writing where possible.
Your kid doesn't need you two to get along — they need you to not make them feel caught in the middle of your dislike for each other. That's a lower, more achievable bar than reconciliation, and it's the one that actually matters.
Your specific dynamic matters here — tell the Council what's actually going on.
Tell the Council what's actually happening → Ask the Council